| The Cave
A massive cave is discovered in the Carpathian Mountains and when it's learned that a good bit of it lies underwater, they know just who to call -- a crack team of cave diving ... geologists? biologists? GQ models? Who knows. Who cares. Having no idea who or what they are we can deal with. What we don't deal so well with is that they're all the same age, the same height, the same weight, have the same haircuts, the same bone structure, the same facial stubble ... everything. They're freakin' clones! Even the characters of different races or genders. We hate to sound politically correct but how about a little diversity -- just so we can tell them apart.
All right, we'll put up with this ridiculous casting so long as there's some decent diving involved. And there is. The team sets up camp at the waterline and sends down a single diver who remarkably makes a 2.5-mile horizontal push through beautiful stalagtite-filled corridors to a dry sump where he sets up the next camp. Without so much as a, "Hey, that's pretty impressive," the rest of the team strap on their rebreathers and jump in to follow.
As soon as they meet up, though, things start to get hairy. Strange cave creatures buzz about and an underwater rock slide blocks their route back. In order to escape, they need to head deeper into the cave to find another route (the idea works much better in Touching the Void), all the while battling the aforementioned creatures.
The cave photography, both above and below the water, is beautiful. The movie, however, is amazingly suspense-free. Divers escape. Divers get killed. One of them morphs into a creepy Spock-like character. Again, who cares. It's not bad. It's not good. It's just light-weight -- like cotton candy with no taste.
There are 10-15 minutes of underwater footage in The Cave and most of it's good. They're the only reason to see the movie. The Cave is available on DVD.
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